The Boxers

by Matt Davis

Part I

“Ok, you’re going to hate me.. but I need to borrow a pair of your boxers.”
“What?! Are you kidding me.. that’s like, something you don’t do. It’s just like understood, we don’t speak of these things.”
“Yeah, I got that.. But I have a date, and all of my boxers are in the laundry and you.. you just never know.”
“Never know what? That you haven’t gone anywhere with a girl in years.”
“Dude, you know things have changed. I have the “midas touch.”
“You’re retarded.”
“No seriously. Lately I’m like untouchable. Everything I’ve ever wanted has just fallen into place. If you let me borrow a pair of your boxers, you won’t regret it. They’ll have good luck forever..”
“I hate you.. so much. Here, take these.”
“Awesome.. Thank you. I mean it.”
“You’re welcome.. have fun tonight..”

Part II

“Hey, open the door.. Come on! King Midas has returned!”
“I’m coming..”
“Yess.”
“What are you so excited about?”
“I had.. an amazing night.”
“That’s great, I’ll be in my room.. your Majesty..”

Part III

“Good morning.”
“You’re in a good mood..”
“Yeah well, last night was the best.”
“I’m glad to hear it.”
“Thanks.. best of all. I have something for you.”
“Really, what is it?”
“Your boxers.. Here you go. Thanks again.”
“What the hell is this?”
“Your boxers.”
“They’re gold.”
“Surprised?”
“You spray painted my boxers gold..”
“No way, man.. that’s just the power of “the touch.”
“Now I really hate you..”
“It’s all in your head..”
“I saw the paint can in the bathroom.”
“Don’t worry, man.. someday, you’ll have the “midas touch” too.”