The Frisbee

by Matt Davis

Part I

“.. Oh and I suppose you had a thrilling day at school?”
“I did actually.. there was some group there giving away free Papa John’s pizza.. and apparently people flip out for free pizza.. like, they go crazy.”
“I would too.. it’s food.. and it’s free.”
“Yeah, but you wouldn’t kill a man for it.. there were huge lines in front of these tables.. a news crew was there filming everything and there were bums that kept asking people if the pizza was free and how they got it.. people left their classes to come and see what the fuss was about.. I didn’t understand.. I was just thinking, Ok, all of these people can’t be that deprived of food that they have to go insane when someone offers free food. I just stood back and watched everything.”
“Well, you seem pretty against the whole idea.. you didn’t do anything about it did you?”
“You know me better than that.. after a while it all got to me and I decided to rise up..”
“Rise up? You’re so..”
“Wait.. wait.. you have to hear this..”
“Alright..”

Part II

“So.. I ran up to the tables, breaking through all of the lines.. I grabbed a slice of pizza and held it in the air and yelled..”
“You yelled?”
“So loud.. I was like a wolf..”
“What did you yell?”
“What else?! FREEDOMMM!”
“Shhh.. you’re so loud.. but still, I’m not impressed.”
“Then I took a bite out of the pizza and threw it.. just like a frisbee.. and that thing soared. Then the craziest thing..”
“Somehow I don’t even care anymore..”
“Dude, you’re soo mean.. alright, so there was a bum in the back of the line yelling unintelligible words.. and when that pizza hit the air, time stopped.. everyone got quiet and just watched the pizza.. this guy, this.. bum was determined to catch this.. so he started running..”
“What is this.. Risky Business?”
“Just let me finish.. so he took off running.. now, keep in mind he was wearing like 10 pounds of clothes.. the pizza was spinning through the air, he was on the ground running for it, and pushing people out of the way.. then it happened.. he jumped.”
“The bum jumped.. a.. bum jump as it were?”
“He dived..”
“Dived.”
“Yes.. his body was laid out, arms stretched.. he soared.. and then just with the tips of his fingers.. he made the catch.. you could see that the red converse on his left foot and the house slipper on his right foot were both inside the patch of grass leading out onto the curb when he caught it.. some guy raised his hands in a “V” as if the bum had scored a touchdown.. and all of the sudden you could hear a pin drop.. and then the crowd went wild.. it was the most intense thing ever..”
“Did he eat it..”
“Of course he did.. it was his prize.. he didn’t care if I had already took a bite out of it.. then I saw a few rent-a-cops heading my way, because I was actually standing on a table.. so I had to make a getaway.”
“I don’t want to hear anymore..”
“That’s fine.. it was nothing really.. I actually stole some kid’s bike and lost the cops.. and then ditched the bike in the river..”
“Can you at least try to be normal..”
“A day in the life.. wanna order pizza?”